Here goes.
I do not own an iPod!
Did you gasp.
Want another?
I do not own an iPhone or even a smart phone for that matter. My phone is dumb. It only makes phone calls. Pictures you ask? Not even those can be produced by the block I carry and call phone.
Oh there was a time that I wanted to upgrade. I did. Paid a lot of money for sleek little number that I could stash in my back pocket. Guess what? My husband was helping me out with the laundry and he washed it. Did I get mad? Heck no. If I had he would never help with that loathsome chore again. I got another phone. My dead phone's twin.
So why do I carry a 3 year old brick phone right now? You'll never guess.
Wait for it.
Wait.
Here it comes.
Now.
I WASHED IT!
Can you believe it? Now I was mad the first time this happened. At my husband? Nope. Not his fault. At myself. Mostly. Just mad at the situation.
But that does not even come close to how mad I was when number 2 went down for the count. I can remember lots of times that I have wanted to throw things.
Like in the movies. They will just smash a plate on the floor or throw a vase against the wall. I have always wanted to do that. But before any piece of breakable houseware met a violent end in my house I always stop and consider the maid. And who she is. She is me. I am her. She told me she wasn't cleaning that up. So it never happens. Except this one time. After I fished the phone from the sopping pocket it had drowned in, I saw the fog in the screen, I knew it was over. I lost it. So the phone met the floor. Really hard. And broke. The maid never said a word.So it was in defeat that I scrounged out one of our old phones and inserted my sim card. I have looked at phones several times thinking about trying it again. The truth is, it is just not that big of a deal to me. My 3 year old has learned how to use "brick" and loves calling all his grandparents when ever he wants to. If I bought a new phone and it was harder to use he would be crushed. One thing I wish I had was a camera. But let's face it the kind of camera you get on a phone is less than awful. Granted they are better than what I paid 300 dollars for in my senior year of high school, but we are now spoiled by an affordable 12 mega pixel camera. So 1.3 just doesn't excite me anymore.
The other thing I miss is music. I love music. I should have had a career in music. Not that I have any talent to speak of but there must be some job where you get paid just to listen. Right? I could be better than those jerks in Rolling Stone. Well maybe not but I can dream. Enchaways...my phone cannot play music to lull me out of reality either.
But I do have something that can.
Meet My Love, My Sirius Stiletto 2
I was one of those "who would pay for radio when it's free" group members when satellite radio first came out. I thought that was like having a wife and paying for a prostitute. But that is because we had not been formally introduced. Since we met I have fallen. In Sirius love.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
1. Any flavor at any time.
Lots of choices.Like 130 of those. That's 1-3-0 different channels.
2. Few commercials. They claim to be commercial free. Mostly they are but I count any music interutption as a commercial and apparently they don't.
3. Rewind. (Yes, if you did not scream out your lungs the first time through "Living on a Prayer" you can rewind and try try again)
4. Fast Forward (While you were "Living on a Prayer" for the second time your station has moved down south to "Panama" with Van Halen and you just don't feel like sunscreen right now? So hit the fast forward.)
5. Record. Unquestionably the best feature. For those of you that are as old as I am, do you remember the days before Cd's? We had to buy stacks of blank tapes at Walmart and keep one in the boom box while we listened for the radio to play the latest song(Too Legit To Quit, Anyone? Anyone?) When we heard the DJ announce it we would morph into superman, fly across the room, hit the play and record button at the same time, and break out into the happy dance. If you don't know what I am talking about you were not resourceful or your folks gave you money for frivolous stuff like music. The only cassette tape that I remember my dad buying for me was Micheal Jackson's Thriller.
And for that I had to promise to pay him back. And I did. All 50 cents that I had to my name at the time. And there you have the reason why he never bought me another. So back to the point.
YOU CAN RECORD ANYTHING THAT COMES ON BY PRESSING ONE BUTTON.
It will hold something like 10 hours of recorded music. Suweet!
There are more features to the Stiletto but those are the ones I utilize most. For all the sports fans you can set it to give you score updates across the bottom of the screen no matter what channel you are listening too. Just keep one eye on the road buddy!
My hubby likes to make use of the portable option. When he does yard work he clips it on like a portable and plugs in his headphones. In this mode you can use the wireless option to hook up to your homes wireless network if you have one and listen on the net. Or you can skip the trouble of that and just listen to the library of recorded music and your own mp3's you have uploaded to it(forgot to mention that feature).
But the root of my love comes from the record feature. When I want to listen to a certain song, I can scroll through my library list, find my recording of Lady Gaga's Bad Romance and do the bucket seat boogie all the way to my driveway. Unless stopped at a red light of course. Under which circumstance I will act like a dignified grownup that I pretend to be in the presence of other grown ups.
Alas, a few months ago my flavor was Poker Face. Now instead of having purchased this song and casting it off, I simply delete from my library to make way for Bad Romance. Or you can keep em both if you want, 10 hours is a lot of music.
So I save a lot of money by not buying iTunes. And that ladies and gentleman is how I justify keeping the brick and paying for the prostitute!
My hubby likes to make use of the portable option. When he does yard work he clips it on like a portable and plugs in his headphones. In this mode you can use the wireless option to hook up to your homes wireless network if you have one and listen on the net. Or you can skip the trouble of that and just listen to the library of recorded music and your own mp3's you have uploaded to it(forgot to mention that feature).
But the root of my love comes from the record feature. When I want to listen to a certain song, I can scroll through my library list, find my recording of Lady Gaga's Bad Romance and do the bucket seat boogie all the way to my driveway. Unless stopped at a red light of course. Under which circumstance I will act like a dignified grownup that I pretend to be in the presence of other grown ups.
Alas, a few months ago my flavor was Poker Face. Now instead of having purchased this song and casting it off, I simply delete from my library to make way for Bad Romance. Or you can keep em both if you want, 10 hours is a lot of music.
So I save a lot of money by not buying iTunes. And that ladies and gentleman is how I justify keeping the brick and paying for the prostitute!
